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Sunday, March 30, 2003

Its like Las Vegas, but not really


Hi lil' Lobsteritas! Let me tell you, I had a swell time on my mini-break to Wendover. Yep, two gambling-gambly trips in a month but we jobless lowlifes make our own fun. Wendover is like Las Vegas...but just the sad cheap desperate bits of Las Vegas. Wendover is what you would get if you airlifted four or five of the oldest most run-down casinos out on the edge of Las Vegas to the middle of the desert on the Utah border and just dropped them and flew away. I've added Wendover to my list of "So lame they're almost cool" things. And I ate steak and eggs at 1 A.M. for only $4.25! Take that, City of Sin!

Last night at the improv show they played my new favorite game, Superhero Eulogy. Its where a superhero has died and the rest of the performers have to stand up and say a few words about them as a character from that superhero's universe. The superhero that died made casseroles, but her name was Lasserole. She was eulogized by Leftover Boy (her sidekick) and Mayor Crockpot, among others.

And last but not least, I finally bit the bullet and moved. My new room is fabby fab fab. But I can't quite figure something out. I moved from the Avenues to Central City, which would mean I moved down the social ladder...but my new house is so much larger and nicer, so in a way I've moved up in the world, right? Right?




Monday, March 24, 2003

My, I need to post more. But it gets tricky as I have to arm wrestle people for a computer at the new library to do so. So here's what I've been up to:

1. Looking for a new job
2. Auditioned for character roles on a Disney cruise ship
3. Got a haircut
4. Went to a great Academy Awards Party
5. Begging people for fake IDs so I can hang out in bars with my friends

and the biggest one of all

6. Moving. Again. Its a wicked long story so we'll sum up by saying Landlord= minion of satan and Linden= not guilty. But I'm moving a few blocks down and over and I'm really tired of getting stuff in and out of boxes, let me tell you.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Vegas, baby!



Just got back from a minibreak to southern Utah and Las Vegas. Had a radly time. The highlight of the weekend was one night in Vegas where a nightclub promoter was talking to me and the girls. When he found out we were from Utah he got all excited. "Do you have like seven boyfriends? Or does your boyfriend have a bunch of wives?" We told him no. Then he was like "I hear you girls are like....confined?" We told him yes. There is a large fence around Utah with landmines outside. Any woman who wants to see the outside world must stage a breakout and runs the risk of never being allowed back. Ha ha. He was a cool guy though.

Ate lovely buffet at Excalibur, tried on expensive makeup at Sephora, and visited tons of casinos. I still adore Treasure Island though. Its that pirate fetish again. They have a wedding package where you can get hitched on the pirate ship in the harbor! This pirate swings down from the crows nest and hands you the rings before the preacher asks "Will you marry this man?"

If someone took me here to get married, my answer would be a resounding "Ayyyyye, matey!"

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Imaginary boyfriends are pretty cool

Ah, me. I just turned my church crush into an alibi boyfriend. According to five minutes ago we've been dating for two months and like to go to rock concerts. Its kind of sad but it makes me like him a little more, because I'm indebted to him for saving my ass from a long conversation with an old one-night fling I ran into at the library. Not only is he a fun boyfriend (it sounds like) but now I'm indebted to him. Thank you, imaginary boyfriend!

Also: Wouldn't "Church Crush" be a great name for a band? Discuss.

Monday, March 03, 2003

Oh, the reading fun!



I'm using my vacation time (aka I was fired) to pick up some new hobbies. I've followed in the footsteps of my favorite zine, Mystery Date, and taken up hunting down home ec textbooks. So far all I have is a self-help book for becoming a happier housewife, but its freaky good fun.
My favorite part so far is the chapter on "Every Room has its Function" which tells us how important and fulfilling it is to establish your parlor as a place to store those valuable antiques left to you by "Grandmother." According to the author (sorry, don't have the book with me right now) your children should only be allowed into this wonderful classy room when they are ready to "dress as little ladies and gentleman and make happy memories."

Right. Parlors are fuuuuun.

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