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Sunday, December 29, 2002


Today I finished sewing the macrame granny scarf I got at Thrift Town into a really cool poncho. I'm saving it for New Years Eve, because, hey, what better way to say "Hello Mr. Future!" than in a snappy tribute to the Sixties?

Essay Question: Are faux-fur rugs radly or non? Would you consider making out with someone if they owned something obviously meant to be rolled around on? Would the color and setting of this rug have any say in your decision? Where can I buy one? Discuss.

Friday, December 27, 2002


Hello Hello. Managed to step off into December 26 with a shiny new DVD player, digital camera, and the boxed set of My So-Called Life episodes. Not to mention a really cool Space Shooter gun. Its loaded with these little foam discs that really sting at point-blank range. Me and the sister had quite the time with those. And by quite the time, I mean the cat is still diving under the bed when she hears the phaser sounds. Go Team Linden!

Then, for some reason I'm not even sure of, I spent my extra Christmas money on Cocktail Mermaids, Squid, and Monkeys.

Monday, December 23, 2002


A Merry Christmas to all the boys and girls and puppies and kitties and goldfish of the world!
I'll be blogging again after December 25. Bye!

Saturday, December 21, 2002


Tis the season for bacon gift wrap! Thanks to Bonnie for the link.

Friday, December 20, 2002

If any of you love me even a little bit, buy me this for Christmas. Or Valentines day. Whatever.
Yes,I AM.

Essay Question:
Why did The Misfits insist on following Jem and the Holograms on their tours, causing mischief to steal the Hologram's gigs? Wouldn't it be more effective to simply organize their own tour? Discuss.

Thursday, December 19, 2002


Sitting around feeling Christmassy.

Listening to The Streets and pondering the year to come. Will I finally make it to Seattle? Will I learn how to wear a skirt without accidentally showing everyone my bum? Finally meet Elijah Wood? Learn to whistle? Skateboard? Waltz?


Tonight I'm off to Blue Kats for Ben's go at an open mike night.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Yay! The day has come! Lord of the Rings fans everywhere, begin the dance of joy!

And another big yay, one week until Creesmass!

Thought of the day: why don't more houses decorate their front lawns with images of the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future? The idea of a fat man devouring turkey and wearing fruit and shiny robes a little too weird for you? Not to mention the whole tall black-shrouded Ghost of Christmas Future....but he gets a bad rap. I had to step into his shoes for a high school production of A Christmas Carol, and let me tell you, his job is the worst. All you do is wander around in choke-worthy fog pointing at various depressing scenarios. And the cloak! Slithering silently in a giant, very heavy black tent is much harder than it looks. The only upside to the gig that I can see is that you never have to hang out with Tiny Tim, and your pointing arm gets pretty buff from having to hang there in the air just *pointing* at things. Maybe the Ghost of Christmas Future, or GCF as I call him, could run an aerobics program the other 364 days of the year at Golds Gym:
Extreme Pointing.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Things that must go: Forty-something men who insist on sporting their oh-so-hip distressed black denim jeans from the eighties that they really don't fit into anymore. Brrr, scary. Bonus spooky points if there are holes or thin patches in the bum or crotch region.

One of my office's resident batty old ladies came in today and for no reason at all gave me half a bag of potato chips.
"Here," she said. "You look like you could use a snack."

Monday, December 16, 2002


Every day I become a little more like Cordelia Chase. Is this for the good or for the bad? You decide.

Friday, December 13, 2002

Feliz Navidad! Only 11 days until I get to give away all of the lovely prezzies I bought at the mall yesterday!

Whenever I go to Crossroads mall, I feel fifteen years old again. The food court where I used to "hang out" with Aubrey hasn't changed a bit, and occasionally I still see people I knew from middle school. My favorite store by far is Toshico. Its a Japanese import store and its lovely. They sell me Pocky and Hello Panda and all those other good candies.

We have a crazy lady who comes into the office where I work. She just shows up whenever, and then sits on a chair making wincy painful sounds clutching her arm, and chomps her teeth open, shut, open, shut. She waits until you take a phone call and then just starts talking at you as you are talking to whoever is on the phone. She'll stay for a good hour after her appointment, just talking, talking talking. On Monday we got to hear a 45 minute lecture on the tumor in her vagina, and on Wednesday we got to hear all about how the last visit didn't do her any good and no one will listen to her.

So she's sitting there talking and chomping her teeth as I call a friend's answering machine and leave a message. Then she says "Was that a yes or a no? What did your friend say?" I say "oh, I just left a message." and she says "My son talks to me like that. I call him at work just to talk to him and he says 'I can't talk right now' and then hangs up on me! CLUNK!"

I know how her son feels. Shut up crazy lady! Shut up!

By the by: Emily, I love your cat.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Hooray! My story made it on board at customerssuck.com. I feel so fulfilled.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Let the migration begin! No, I'm not talking about ducks, geese, salmon, or immigrants. I'm talking about my favorite migration of all: college students! Soon all of my favorite people will trickle reluctantly back into my town from their exciting college towns and the Christmas fun can begin! I look forward to seeing Kira's sweet mohawk, Tristen's shenanigans, and Ben's stories of environmental excellence. He's the best vegan ever. My college Christmasses are the best ever. THIS holiday season will be the best ever. As long as I can make these damn dizzy spells stop. I have a doctor's appointment next Friday but I'll drink some more healthy orange juice today and take a nap.

Monday, December 09, 2002

Blargh. I feel pooey. One more thing to add to my List of Things I Don't Like Doing:
Passing out on the floor of a bathroom for no good reason. Meh.

Sunday, December 08, 2002

Went to the Tower last night with my "posse" to see the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Anyone else remember the suave ship captain who helps them smuggle the ark? His name is Mr. Katenga and he is unbelievably cool in that snappy white turtleneck and his rakish captain's cap. I wish I was Mrs. Katenga. Also, I wish I had a monkey but not neccesarily an evil Nazi monkey that is stupid enough to eat poisoned dates.

Friday, December 06, 2002

There are at least three billion versions of this guy living in Utah. I have been hit on using this approach by at least 2 billion of them.
Well this sure is sad. Glenn Quinn, the actor who played Doyle on Angel, has died. This is most upsetting.

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

For someone who is as much of a television junkie as I am, living at home has been rough. My family just watches an occasional movie, so we only have about five television stations. While its fun to watch the BYU-run PBS station and the University of Utah-run PBS station duke it out, it leaves me a little lacking. For one, I have no UPN or WB, meaning no Buffy or Angel. So I have to pay someone to tape the episodes and send them to me. But when I do get them, I can spend a whole saturday holed up in the basement wrapped in snuggly blankets, watching the adventures of people who really couldn't exist. I just got my Angel season 1 episodes a few days ago, so I've been catching up on this great show I've never watched. I love Doyle. I never cry watching television shows, but when he died I have to admit I got sniffly. There is something about a smart-alecky little Irish man saving the world that makes a gal want to sigh dreamily.
For more Angel character information, pop over to this site. I'd just explain the characters myself, but I'm too lazy.

I lurv sticker pictures. I have since high school. I have pages of them. Want to know more? Love them yourself? Learn more about them!
Photoguide Japan
Rite-Aid joins in guess I'll no longer have to drive all the way to Provo for these babies.
An interesting paper about sticker pictures

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

When I was five, my friend Rachel told me the gorillas at Hogle Zoo could get out whenever they wanted and run around eating people. I never forgot that. A few months later, my family took me to the zoo and we went into the gorilla house. As I walked up to the glass, the biggest ape in there loped over and smacked his hand on the glass. I flew out of that building as if there were rockets in my shoes and my mother practically had to pull me down out of a tree. "Its okay, apes don't attack people!"

Today the news reported an ape has escaped from a zoo in the city of Nagano and is loose in a suburb. It has attacked eleven women and remains uncaptured. I knew it. I KNEW it.

Other things my mother swore were true when I was young:
1. There are no poisonous spiders in Utah.
Utah is home to the Brown Recluse, Black Widow, and the Hobo spider, all poisonous. All have appeared in my room at some point in the past six months. They have subsequently been squashed.

2. We could never have a tornado in Salt Lake City
A very large tornado touched down in downtown Salt Lake in August of 2000. More have been spotted in nearby areas.
3. People think you cool and fun if you are the first to arrive at a party, and the first to leave.
I don't know where to begin with this one. Sad to say, I believed it until 8th grade.

Now I'm just waiting for people to confirm my kindergarten suspicions that ghosts can come into houses through open heat vents and I'll have a better track record for accuracy than my mother. Here's hoping.

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