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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Hey, wanna try something fun?  Get into an acting school out of state!  Get practically nothing in financial aid because your parents have cash, even though you make nothing!  Take out big loans!  Then add a mom who hates the idea of you acting so much she takes every chance she can to remind you that when you fail at this acting thing (when, not if) you'll have to start living in the real world and get a job you'll actually be good at, like a grade school teacher.  Then try to find housing for fall semester in Los Angeles, a month before school starts.  Then as an added fun fact have all your friends and family gang up together to let you know the whole thing is a bad idea.

Doesn't that sound fun?

On a way less heavy note, I think The Cheat and Beaker the muppet share a homeland.  They seem to speak the same language.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Putting the Scary in Secretary
 
I'm temping for the old man these days.  Most of his patients are old, or weird, or old and weird.  Most of these old, weird people have been coming here for years.  They're set in their ways, and I accept this.  But why, for the love of pete, why is it when they walk in and see that the old secretary is gone and a new girl is sitting behind that fake oak desk, they have such a reaction?  They make this scared face for a minute, like I'm going to jump at them with a knife.  I mean, come on.  Its not like I'm this guy.  Yes, you probably would be a little alarmed if the first thing you saw walking into a waiting room was random machete guy sitting there next to the Gary Larson calendar.  Maybe carving slices off an apple with the machete and eating them while staring at you.  That could be startling, sure.  Me?  Not startling.
 
As a matter of fact, I look pretty gosh-darn sweet and harmless today.  I just looked down at myself and I'm actually dressed a little like a stepford wife.
 
Okay, that might be a little creepy.  But if it will stop you from asking me what happened to the last secretary, I'll take it.  I'll tell you she's locked in the basement.  With my spare machetes.


Sunday, July 25, 2004

There was no lake.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Why did I agree to go to this family reunion?  Re-avoid everyone and hide in a tent -ion more like it.  I think the whole reunion master plan I schemed up involved getting a tan, something about fresh air being good for me, blah blah woof woof.  Well, that plan is dumb.  Our reunion is by a lake in Idaho.  Does anyone like Idaho?  Do you like Idaho?

Seriously, do you?

I've just realized no one has mentioned a lake to me.  Oh, god, did I make the lake up?  Is there not even a lake?  I'll let you know.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

So, my little lobsteritas, I spent the night in Salt Lake yesterday.  I got a call from my old man that something had come for me in the mail, and he would bring it up with him sometime this week.  I arrived today expecting a bill for that damn Capitol One card (I've got an application fee for you, you bastards!  An application punch in the face!) or possibly even a letter from my darling Pickens.  But lo and behold, it was a giant box!  Things kept getting better.  It was a giant box from Nikki!  It was a giant box from Nikki filled with New Zealand candy bars!
 
I love you Nikki.  Love that knows no boundaries. And then I added a new link.


Monday, July 19, 2004

Time flies like the wind. 
Fruit flies like bananas.
 
I don't know how I'ma gonna handle this new Blogger-don't-use-no-pictures thing.  Stay tuned for updates on that one.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Well well well.  Another month minus one day exactly, people, and it is the day of my birth.  Yep, the day of Lola Lobsterita's glorious appearance on this earth.  I think that deserves presents.  So start saving thems paychecks and watch for more information about what gift each of you are assigned to purchase.  Just kidding. 
 
Or am I?









Sunday, July 11, 2004



K.C. and Scott, I finally saw your movie. Sorry took long time. Bad friend me. Good job sing Scott. Good job act K.C.

Thursday, July 08, 2004



Hi. This is Hollywood Actor Beck Bristow. Know him. Love him.

Monday, July 05, 2004



Your goal for the month:

Make a friendship bracelet. Make a friendship bracelet and give it to your best friend. If you have a boyfriend, make them one. If you have a girlfriend, make them several in different colors so they can mix and match. We love that. Make yourself one. Just tell everyone someone else made it for you because making one for yourself is kinda lame and easy to make fun of. Take that friendship bracelet you just made and then wear it for a month solid. In the shower too. Then it will be all soft and comfy, like the ones you had (well, we girls did anyway) at summer camp.

Isn't it time you made life your summer camp? Hmmm?

Friday, July 02, 2004

New fotos a'coming soon. I swears.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Hal Sparks, I love you.
As for the rest of you cakesniffers, some bad news. No new blog entry today because I don't feel like it.
You can't make me. Meh.

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