Friday, October 29, 2004
Yeah! I met Chris Kattan today! So awesome. He was tres charmant, as they say in some country somewhere. He is a total fox. I daresay we even flirted.
What? You doubt me? Well screw all y'all. You weren't there meeting Chris Kattan and I was. End of story. Go home and leave me alone.
What? You doubt me? Well screw all y'all. You weren't there meeting Chris Kattan and I was. End of story. Go home and leave me alone.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
You never realize how much you love being able to dance around like a moron in your living room and behind the counter when you're closing up at Starbucks until you think your foot might be broken and you go to the emergency room for x-rays and it turns out its not.
What? It's true.
What? It's true.
Monday, October 18, 2004
I wish more people walked. You see so many profound things. Today I was walking to work, because I'd had to park a few blocks away from Le Starbucks. I was walking past a Pottery Barn and it was raining lightly. I looked down at the ground and saw this glove that someone had dropped. It was soggy and flat on the pavement from the weight of the rainwater. Most of the fingers were folded in except the index finger, making it look like a hand pointing, right at the wall of that Potter Barn. So that was my day. Walking down a street in Beverly Hills, where even the litter window-shops.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Just bought my Halloween costume and did some good eavesdropping while I was at it. A man and a woman were shopping behind me. She looked like a bored friend, and he was a heavyset neurotic guy with a bad beard. Here was the conversation:
Man: No! You're thinking Gimli. I'm not going as a dwarf! I'm going as a viking!
Woman: What's the difference?
Man: There's a huge difference! Vikings are... nordic.
Woman: Nordic?
Man: You know. Blonde.
Woman: (pause) Well then you're going to need some furry chaps.
Man: Chaps?
Woman: You know, furry chaps to cover your legs.
Man: So I'll make them.
Woman: You're going to make furry chaps.
Man: I'll go to a fabric store, geez!
Woman: I'm just saying.
Man: No! You're thinking Gimli. I'm not going as a dwarf! I'm going as a viking!
Woman: What's the difference?
Man: There's a huge difference! Vikings are... nordic.
Woman: Nordic?
Man: You know. Blonde.
Woman: (pause) Well then you're going to need some furry chaps.
Man: Chaps?
Woman: You know, furry chaps to cover your legs.
Man: So I'll make them.
Woman: You're going to make furry chaps.
Man: I'll go to a fabric store, geez!
Woman: I'm just saying.
You are Quinn! A genuine person at heart, but a thin outer shell.
What Daria Character are You?
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Monday, October 11, 2004
Austin Nava, your blog has passed my rigorous screening techniques. By which I mean you have finally begun updating it more often than oh, say, car registration. Your letter of acceptance will be arriving in the mail shortly with a congratulatory certificate. Be proud and hold your head high.
By the by, does anyone know have any tips on how to make an Indian costume? Because I'm not wearing this one.
By the by, does anyone know have any tips on how to make an Indian costume? Because I'm not wearing this one.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Yeah bitches!
I be student council.
Winning elections me do!
Fun be to had!
I be student council.
Winning elections me do!
Fun be to had!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Dear The Los Angeles,
Hello. It has come to my attention, me being, of course, your new darling citizen, that someone neglected to add convenient parking for me and my luxurious second-hand deluxe saturn in your city plans. I believe this was a serious oversight. Apparently you did not realize I was coming so soon, and therefore sold all the very important parking-perfect property near my home and school to people looking to open "Ten t-shirts for 9.99" stands.
I suggest you remedy the situation immedeatly. Or strike dead at least one driving occupant of this apartment complex, in order to free up their space in the snug and secure parking level.
Oh wait. That bit might be God's jurisdiction. No, wait, you got rid of that guy decades ago. I'll just pray to the giant shiny movie promos instead. I'll start over.
Dear The Massive Shark Tales Billboard on Highland....
Hello. It has come to my attention, me being, of course, your new darling citizen, that someone neglected to add convenient parking for me and my luxurious second-hand deluxe saturn in your city plans. I believe this was a serious oversight. Apparently you did not realize I was coming so soon, and therefore sold all the very important parking-perfect property near my home and school to people looking to open "Ten t-shirts for 9.99" stands.
I suggest you remedy the situation immedeatly. Or strike dead at least one driving occupant of this apartment complex, in order to free up their space in the snug and secure parking level.
Oh wait. That bit might be God's jurisdiction. No, wait, you got rid of that guy decades ago. I'll just pray to the giant shiny movie promos instead. I'll start over.
Dear The Massive Shark Tales Billboard on Highland....
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Ten Movies Everyone Should See, or
I Have No Topic But I Need To Bother the Internet
by that one girl what posts here
1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Napoleon Dynamite
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. Empire Records
5. The Fifth Element
6. Rushmore
7. Ghost World
8. High Fidelity tied with
8 1/2. About a Boy, both Nick Hornby greats
9. Super Size Me
10. The Stepford Wives (original)
I Have No Topic But I Need To Bother the Internet
by that one girl what posts here
1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Napoleon Dynamite
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. Empire Records
5. The Fifth Element
6. Rushmore
7. Ghost World
8. High Fidelity tied with
8 1/2. About a Boy, both Nick Hornby greats
9. Super Size Me
10. The Stepford Wives (original)
